you were the same as me, but you wised up,

i relish in these moments of domesticity,

c and i decide to install the fire alarm i got her for christmas. sure laugh, but it is a romantic gift that screams, “i don’t want you to die, specifically in a fire!” but before we begin drilling holes into the ceiling, we smoke a smidgen of pot via some lacross tweezers. while i am holding a kitchen chair and c is squirreling around with some screws, her telephone rings annoyingly. it seems as though she is on the phone for days. i first suspect it is her old job calling to offer her work again, but it isn’t. i float around her kitchen sampling snippets of peanut brittle, rubies of pomegranates, chocolate, homemade cookies, and crackers. i then guess a few times as to who it might be but she shakes her head at each one. i figure what with her lying left and right about fake conferences and trying so desperately hard to get off the phone that it must be her cousin who nabbed her. her cousin has been not so secretly planning to ask c to be in her bridal party for weeks, knowing this and the fact that c doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid causes me to act extremely rude to help get her off the phone. i knock on the door, tell some bad jokes, “you’re friend is at the door, fucking answer it! bitch!” she tells her for the third time her friend is knocking on the door, and manages to avoid answering her completely. we continue to install the fire alarm, and by we i mean c, i am simply holding the chair stable. we laugh about the absurdity of a distant friendless relative calling you up to ask you to participate in a merger of finances. we test the alarm, and accidentally bake our eggplant lasagna for over an hour at only 100 degrees and are famished but it is still cold. i fear we will be late for the movies and have to simply eat popcorn for dinner. but alas, it is cooked! we eat the lasagna and marvel at the fun of fire safety and deeking out family, and of course wind up late for the movies and find ourselves in the second from the front row next to two people who interrupt our legs dangling about several times probably to reload on skittles and empty their weak, weak bladders.